Concerning My Future Wife... Whoever She Is

When I first started my blog, I promised I would write on everything from world events to film reviews, from theology and spiritual musings to my thoughts on the fairer sex: women.  Alas, I have put it off long enough, I am honor bound to address the issue for the first time here.  So here we go, exactly what you've all been waiting for... Ben Friday's thoughts on women, marriage, and his future wife.  Obviously this a huge discussion, so I'll keep this little snapshot brief.  I'll start by admitting I'm a hopeless romantic.  I've never had a girlfriend, and tend to spend too much time thinking about them and wrestling with my ideas of them and what they should/shouldn't be in my head (gosh.... maybe that's WHY I've never had a girlfriend... sigh... lonely is the man who thinks too much).  I won't get all mushy and open here on the internet (because if there's one thing celebrities and idiots have taught us, it is that these things will come back to haunt you once they have been splattered all over the world wide web), but I will share a few personal things about myself and my ideas for my future.  For example, I'll openly admit to having never been in love.  For me, being in love means more than just having a crush on someone, it means truly knowing that person and looking out for their interests above your own, to love with no strings attached.  I also believe this kind of love is not humanly attainable by many people.  The reason is simple: God is love.  For those who don't know God, how can they truly love?  Oh sure, they can do all the things the world calls "love", but they will never be able to, without the intervention and help of the Lord, love someone else unconditionally and in a self-sacrificing manner.  I pray that one day I will be able to love my future wife the way husbands are commanded to in Ephesians: the way Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her and her well-being.  I'll admit that I'm scared that I'll fall far short of this standard on many occasions, and smart enough to know I certainly will fall short to a certain extent due to my old sin nature which is constantly at war within me.  But I strive to focus on drawing closer to the Lord, of being faithful with the friendships and little bits he has given and entrusted to me for the time being, and then faithfully trusting that He has the right future Mrs. Friday picked out for me, and she will bump into me in God's timing and perfect plan, not my own.  Sometimes I feel that I already have met my future wife, someone I already know and will simply develop a deeper and deeper relationship with until the day I realize that she's the one for me.  Other times, I am convinced that I have not met her yet, she's still out there and I'll just know when I see her that she's the one.  Still other times I'm of a strong opinion that the life and lifestyle I've been called to are preparing me for a life of singleness, and that perhaps the Lord will, for whatever reason, refrain from granting me a wife in this earthly pilgrimage.  One thing is for sure, I long to be held accountable that whatever the case may be, I'll be content to settle back and let the Lord's will be done, even if I disagree with it personally.  I'm not looking for just an attractive girl with a great personality either, I'm looking for someone I can share my life with, my adventures and sorrows, my trials, triumphs, and tribulations.  Someone who will stick closer than a brother, and who I can grow old with.  And as I said before, I probably think about it way too much.  I become interested in someone, then see their flaws and lose interest.  I need to learn that my wife will have flaws just as I do, and stop looking for perfection, because that woman doesn't exist.  I'll share something neat with those of you who have read this far (thanks by the way, you must be really bored to be reading about Ben's lack of a love life).  Haha, anyway, a little known fact about me that reveals what a sucker I am and hopeless romantic I can be is the fact that every time I travel internationally I purchase a piece of jewelry for my future wife.  I see it as symbolic of the fact that I've traveled the globe looking and searching for her, and to me she is more precious and of great worth than all the riches of the world.  Call is cheesy, call it romantic, but there you have it: two strings of pearls from two trips to China, a blue bracelet from Bosnia, handmade necklaces from Kenya, silver earrings from England, and malachite earrings from Uganda.  It's just one example of the dreamer and poet locked inside of me beneath this gruff and dorky exterior.  I'm not sharing this to improve my odds or impress anybody necessarily, just thought I ought to share with you a little personal piece of my heart and a part I hope to one day share with the future Mrs. Friday, if she exists and wherever she may be.  Thanks for reading.  

The Serious Side of Christianity

Sometimes I worry that the majority of today's youth, which are passionate to reinvigorate the gospel for a new generation, forget that it really doesn't need to be updated.  I admit that Christianity has it's foibles, but seriously, if anything, it's not that it needs to be fixed, just better understood.  Any and all problems or misrepresentations that have arisen over the last 2000 years regarding Christianity have come about because people refuse to study and learn what God's word really means.  The gospel itself is perfect.  I can say that with confidence.  It has no errors, no flaws, and everything you need for life, wisdom, and godliness is found within the pages of the Holy Bible.  I don't say this out of ignorance either, or out of "blind" faith, because there is no such thing.  The saddest thing about the statements I just made is that a majority of so called "Christians" would be much more hesitant to take such a stand.  Am I claiming to be some sort of super believer?  Not at all.  I know who I am, and it is not pretty.  But I also can say what I say with confidence because I know it to be true.  I'm calling for more believers to simply trust and obey the word of God and take it for exactly what it says it is.  When it says God created the universe in six days, why is that so hard to believe?  Why must we force the Scriptures to conform to what science and "logic" try to reason to us?  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  The word of God (who created science) stand alone, and then all the sciences and arts conform to it's pattern and guidance?  When it says Jesus rose from the dead, folks, the whole book hinges on that.  If you can't believe that then you can't believe any of it.  Who in his right mind would take entire passages out of the Bible upon which is stands and then claim that the rest of it is simply "OK"?  You cannot separate the two.  Either you believe it, I mean really believe it, every word of it, or you don't believe any of it.  There is no in between.  The Lord does not negotiate on our terms people.  Get that through your heads.  I am alarmed at the trends I see in culture of updating the gospel and 'tweaking' it to fix today's culture.  The so-called "emerging church" movement, simply a try to mold Christianity into an existential worldview where all answers are true and likewise false, is something that must be fought.  And frankly, these die hard fundamentalists who say "The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it" aren't much help either.  They have passion yes, but they are ignorant and have not loved the Lord their God with all of their minds, conforming and renewing themselves to the will of a Holy God.  Frankly, both ends of the spectrum are to be blamed.  The fundamentalists give us a bad name because they cannot stand up to interrogation, their apologetics are just plain awful.  They cannot provide a ready defense and therefore give Christianity the "dumb, ignorant backwoods" stereotype.   Those who appear to be more "in touch" with the culture on the other hand, (and yes, I'm talking about the readers of Relevant magazine and followers of Donald Miller and Rob Bell), are more times than not convicted of actually compromising with the culture, of sleeping with it and then trying to pretend it never happened the morning after. God doesn't need our help peddling religion or sugar-coating truth.  He allows us to share in a glorious relationship with Him for which none of us are qualified, and then permits us to spread the news of that relationship to a world apart from it, in hopes that perhaps by the grace of God some of them will be moved and called by the Spirit to accept what we preach and point to: Christ crucified.  Forgive my rant, but I'm genuinely appalled by how quickly the prevailing "evangelical" culture has shifted on many issues.  Many of these compromises have occurred within the last 20 years, that's only a couple of generations down the road from where we used to be.  We need people to take a stand, to get serious about what it is that they believe and be ready to defend it.  We need not take the fight to the world, nay, it is already before us.  Christ promised his followers tribulations and trials, so why is it that whenever hard times come our way we ask for prayer to simply get out of these tough spots?  Why not ask for prayer to be wise enough to discern what the Lord would have us learn from the tough spot He put us in, for His own glory???  This idea may shock many and surprise some, but we've go to do a better job in the area of apologetics.  Truth is on trial, and we're standing by as the world chips away at it everyday we keep our mouths closed.  If you had the cure for cancer and nobody cared, how would you respond?  Take a stand men and women of faith.  Not in an antagonistic fashion, but in a zeal for the word of God and for His name and kingdom to be glorified.  We're too happy, shying away from somber, serious discussions of God's nature and doctrines.  We'd rather sing ourselves into an emotional state of euphoria than actually examine the word of God with a desire to learn it and live it.  We can still be full of joy and love, I'm just calling for a little serious-minded driven attitude to be added in.  Johnny Cash may be one of the best examples of this.  He understood the serious side of the gospel, and when you look at his life and his music, I see a prophet of somberness who was faithful to uphold the tough truths of the gospel.  Should we all wear black?  Perhaps not.  But it wouldn't hurt if a few of us tried it every now and then, I promise the world would take notice and then we might see some real revival taking place in the hearts of the people as our hearts and lives become serious about reaching them with the Truth.  Forgive me my rant, but as always, I blog because I care.  

It's Been Kinda Quiet Around Here Lately...

My apologies for the lack of blogging.  As of late I've been working at my new job and the last few weeks have been jam packed and busy to say the least. Once things calm down a bit and I reach the weekend I hope to blog some more.  We'll see... can't make any promises as of now.   Hope everyone is having a magnificent summer so far.