A Southern Boy's Adventures in LA: Ben vs. The Bust-Measuring Bimbo

So I've relocated to LA from Birmingham and am looking for a job out here.  While waiting for that golden opportunity to come along, I decided to go ahead and take steps to insure that I could have a back-up plan for making some small money fast - you know, the kind of job you take just to keep gas in the car and groceries in the fridge.  So I sauntered down the street (translation: drove across town on the LA freeways and cheated death with every lane merge) and decided to apply for Central Casting.  Central Casting is one of the bigger casting agencies in town, they provide all the background and extras for TV and film.  Ever watch an episode of anything of TV and seen people walking around in the background and wondered who they were?  Those are Central Casting extras, and they get paid $8 an hour and fed three meals while on set.  After 8 hours on set, you get paid time and a half, and most workdays are 12 hours for the extras, so you end up with somewhere around $100 for one day of standing around and walking through the background of scenes a couple of times.  Not the most glamourous job, but an easy $100 if you don't mind standing around all day.  I personally love the idea of getting to spend a full day or two on a set, observe how the shoot certain shows and watch the directors direct the actors.  

So after two of my roommates, Bryan and Pete, raved about it because they each got to be on "Without a Trace" and had a good experience, I decided to register as well.  I walk into the main office and run into a room full of about 20 people, from every walk of life.  We've got caucasian, asian, african american, and hispanic people in the room of every age, sex, and shape.  I had been told by my Pete to sit in a row of chairs along the wall when I entered the room, and not gather around the conference table where everyone else was sitting.  This is because when 10:30am rolls around, the casting director enters the room and makes a little speech, and then they start processing at that row of chairs.  So essentially if you know this little inside tip early on, you get a free pass to the front of the line.  So there I am, sitting near the window in the row of seats, filling out my application.  They ask for all sorts of personal information regarding your physical appearance, from hair color, weight, and height; all the way to your actual clothing sizes so you can be fitted for a show should they need to put you in some sort of uniform or costume.  For a guy this means giving them your coat, sleeve, neck, waist, inseam, and shoe size; and for a girl you must provide your bust, bra size, waist, hips, dress size, and show size.  Nothing out of the question, the same information you'd give your tailor really.  They also have a section that asks if you're willing to do nude work, and you have to circle yes or no (and right now I'll go ahead and tell you what I put: absolutely not.) 

Anyway, I'm in there for a few minutes and in walks this girl.  She's slender and tall, and at first glances, I'll admit, she's rather lovely and downright attractive.  She comes over and sits next to me because she also knew about the little "sit-by-the-window-to-get-to-the-head-of-the-line" tip.  So seeing as how it's still about 15 minutes before they start official processing and registration, we naturally start up a conversation.  Her name is Emily Egbert, but don't let the name fool you as to her ethnic background.  As nerdy as the name may sound, she's actually half Jordanian, her mom grew up in Amman (capital of Jordan - don't worry, I had to look it up too).  She has that whole raven-black shoulder length hair, olive toned skin, and deep brown eyes thing working for her, and if I had to guess I'd say she could easily be on camera if she really wants to pursue acting full time, which as I continue to talk to her, I discover is her intent all along.  As the time draws nearer, a rather large and friendly african american gentleman in a full suit comes and sits next to me as well, and we both joke about how this whole registration feels a lot like being drafted in the military.  He informs me that if they take us to another room and ask us to drop our shorts for a full physical, he's not interested, and for a second it seems like he actually isn't joking, that maybe he really thinks this is a possibility.  

10:30 rolls around and it's go time.  The room is now full of over 100 people, and sure enough, I'm near the very front of the line.  The casting director comes out and announces that they have measuring tapes available throughout the room and it's strongly encouraged that we measure ourselves accurately for the application, even if we know our sizes already.  It's important that we make sure we're not just a few inches off, or the prop costumes may not fit and then we'll feel like idiots on set wearing clothes that are too large/too tight.  At this announcement, the unexpected happens.  Emily grabs a tape (those fabric measuring tapes they have at every tailor and suit store) and whirls around to face me.  "Will you help measure me?" she politely inquires.  Now I don't know much, but I was raised in the south where as a standing rule we treat our women with dignity and respect.  To say this was a little surprising and even a little inappropriate is an understatement.  I know it's just a measurement, but I'm a guy, she's a girl, and a complete stranger until like 20 minutes ago.  The more I reflect on the incident, in many ways I guess I was less of a stranger to her than anyone else in there, but still... I'm not used to being presented with this kind of scenario.  I'm sure my mouth was wide open and jaw was resting on the floor as I quickly tried to formulate the correct response. Then I heard words come out of my mouth: "Sh-Sh-Sh-Sure".  WHAT? Did I just say that?  What's happening here?  But before I can figure out why my mouth and head are not agreeing, I find myself standing there as she wraps a tape around the fullest part of her chest, turns her back to me, and asks me to help her figure out her bust measurement.  I'll grant her the fact that she turned her back to me, at least this way my hands would be nowhere near the danger zone, but still, this is a rather new and awkward experience.  Where I'm from, girls tend to not ask guys to help them figure out their bust size.  I ended up pinching the tape together in the middle of her back and reporting that she measured 32 inches.  She thanks me and then asks what's next on the sheet.  I glance down and to my horror see the words "Bra Size".  Now here is where I should have read it in my head before reading it out loud, but I think I did both at the same time and accidently said out loud, "Uh, it says bra size"  Once again, I kick myself mentally, wondering if the old nature has gone on autopilot for some reason.  I figured she would probably say, "Oh, well lets skip to the next category" because once again, where I'm from if a guy asked a girl her bra size in public (or private for that matter), he's probably seeking a slap in the face.  Surprisingly though, and causing my recently re-attached jaw to hit the ground once again, she casually tells me over her shoulder, "Oh, my boobies are a B".  Those were her exact words.  I'm speechless, still holding a tape around her back and trying to figure out what just happened, when she starts moving on to waist, hips, etc... before I know it, we've measured every inch of her from top to bottom, and I've recorded the whole thing obediently for her on her sheet. 

 Then my eyes catch sight of what would be the last straw: where it asked if she would do nude work, she had circled "yes".  Man, I'm telling you, I wanted to drop the tape and wash my hands right there.  Welcome to LA.  This ain't no Birmingham, no sir, it sure ain't.  Needless to say, the rest of the registration went on fine, I registered and hope to be on TV soon making some quick money in the background, but seriously... I could go out and buy this girl a dress now with the information I know... and perhaps I should.  A real modest one with a note attached that said she should reconsider her decision to do naked work and instead pursue real classy acting, the kind where you keep your clothes on and wow the audience with your abilities and not your curves.  I could even tell her that the next time she needs to measure herself, she should find a kindly old lady to assist her or something...  But then, I didn't get her address, so I'd have nowhere to send it... hmm, oh well.  Welcome to LA folks.  The Bible belt this ain't.  I was hoping this would be the end of my awkward moments in the city, but as you'll soon learn in a later installment of this blog, this was only the beginning.  Because later that day I would share the screen with a porn star at a hot dog stand.  But that's another story for a later post... Until then my friends, I hope I've put a smile on your face as I recount my humorous and awkward times in sunny Los Angeles California.  Keep in touch and check back later for more stories of hollywood fun.  

 

Moving to LA

Hey, I've just recently relocated in Los Angeles.  I've got no reliable internet connection here, so give me a couple days to get that fixed and I'll be ready to start blogging again about the joys and misadventures of my life.  Thanks for your patience.  

Going wild at the book store...

Because I'm a bit crazy and love to read, I blew a good portion of my birthday money at the bookstore yesterday.  So if you're curious to know what's on my mind and on my plate as far as books go, feast your eyes on these titles... more than likely you'll hear me mention them as I read like crazy over the course of the next few months.  

The Games Are Upon Us At Last!

It's almost here.  I can remember back in 2002 when I visited Beijing for the first time.  I was a rising senior in high school.  They had just found out one year earlier (2001) they were getting the games in 2008, and the city was already excited.  I bought a T-Shirt that year that had the original olympic logo they'd designed for the games, seen above.  6 years and two graduation ceremonies later, I'm 23 (today actually... yeah, so happy birthday me, for what that's worth. haha) and the games are less than 3 full days away.  The shirt no longer fits at all, the emblem is faded, and they've designed a new logo anyway.  The city has only grown, as I witnessed upon my second visit to Beijing in 2005, when I was a rising junior in college.  As I reflect upon the long and turbulent road that the olympic torch and games have taken to reach Beijing, I look at my own life on my 23rd birthday.  I too have had my share of growth and struggle in the last 6 years.  The transitions from high school to college to post-graduate life have been interesting to say the least.  Just as my original shirt bought back in 2002 no longer fits or is even relevant, I too have completely changed in more ways than one.  Spiritually I became a Christian over that period of time between 2002 and now, and the ways in which my life has grown, transformed, and been changed are too numerous to count.  And as the world watches the games unfold over the course of the next 3 weeks, I too watch with anticipation as the future awaits for myself and the rest of God's people.  I'm moving to LA in a little less than a month's time, and I eagerly look forward to what paths God has laid for me there.  I'll be  pursuing a career in the film business which I love and want to see transformed from the inside out.  Maybe not as dramatic as the Olympics, but surely to some extent, the "eyes of the world" will be upon me as I seek to live out my faith under the scrutiny of an unbelieving world.  I would ask for your prayers and continued support as I embark upon this exciting new chapter of my life.  Just like Beijing, I have made enemies and am not embraced by all.  I have my darker chapters and my secret sins, my moments of doubt and times when I appear stubborn.  We're all like this though: being continuously reshaped and re-moulded to the original designs of the creator.  Our sin nature has indeed corrupted us, but behold, Christ promises that he came to "make all things new", and this is especially true for the believer.  What a precious promise.  So for me, the next few weeks will be spent passionately enjoying the games I have been waiting for for the last 6 years, yet this is only symbolic of the rest of my life, which I desire and pray will be well spent living passionately for my God and my faith.  As crazy as it all sounds, I truly do believe that the Olympics are in many ways as close as we will get to seeing what heaven will be like, at least in appearance.  Think about it: as you watch the parade of nations, realize that this is but a small glimpse of what heaven might resemble.  Representatives from every tongue, tribe, and nation gathered together under the banner of unity.  For the next three weeks the world will unite under the banner of competitive sports.  I long for the day when a much larger crowd, the likes of which no one will be able to number, will gather under the banner of Christ the Lord, and we'll live in the presence of his light and majesty for all of eternity.  What a glorious thing to look forward too.  May the Lord bless you and may the next few weeks of your life be filled with excitement and joy as you reflect on these truths and promises.  I know I will, especially as I watch the games in Beijing unfold on the world's stage.  Let the games begin, and let the nations be glad whose god is the Lord!    

Concerning My Future Wife... Whoever She Is

When I first started my blog, I promised I would write on everything from world events to film reviews, from theology and spiritual musings to my thoughts on the fairer sex: women.  Alas, I have put it off long enough, I am honor bound to address the issue for the first time here.  So here we go, exactly what you've all been waiting for... Ben Friday's thoughts on women, marriage, and his future wife.  Obviously this a huge discussion, so I'll keep this little snapshot brief.  I'll start by admitting I'm a hopeless romantic.  I've never had a girlfriend, and tend to spend too much time thinking about them and wrestling with my ideas of them and what they should/shouldn't be in my head (gosh.... maybe that's WHY I've never had a girlfriend... sigh... lonely is the man who thinks too much).  I won't get all mushy and open here on the internet (because if there's one thing celebrities and idiots have taught us, it is that these things will come back to haunt you once they have been splattered all over the world wide web), but I will share a few personal things about myself and my ideas for my future.  For example, I'll openly admit to having never been in love.  For me, being in love means more than just having a crush on someone, it means truly knowing that person and looking out for their interests above your own, to love with no strings attached.  I also believe this kind of love is not humanly attainable by many people.  The reason is simple: God is love.  For those who don't know God, how can they truly love?  Oh sure, they can do all the things the world calls "love", but they will never be able to, without the intervention and help of the Lord, love someone else unconditionally and in a self-sacrificing manner.  I pray that one day I will be able to love my future wife the way husbands are commanded to in Ephesians: the way Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her and her well-being.  I'll admit that I'm scared that I'll fall far short of this standard on many occasions, and smart enough to know I certainly will fall short to a certain extent due to my old sin nature which is constantly at war within me.  But I strive to focus on drawing closer to the Lord, of being faithful with the friendships and little bits he has given and entrusted to me for the time being, and then faithfully trusting that He has the right future Mrs. Friday picked out for me, and she will bump into me in God's timing and perfect plan, not my own.  Sometimes I feel that I already have met my future wife, someone I already know and will simply develop a deeper and deeper relationship with until the day I realize that she's the one for me.  Other times, I am convinced that I have not met her yet, she's still out there and I'll just know when I see her that she's the one.  Still other times I'm of a strong opinion that the life and lifestyle I've been called to are preparing me for a life of singleness, and that perhaps the Lord will, for whatever reason, refrain from granting me a wife in this earthly pilgrimage.  One thing is for sure, I long to be held accountable that whatever the case may be, I'll be content to settle back and let the Lord's will be done, even if I disagree with it personally.  I'm not looking for just an attractive girl with a great personality either, I'm looking for someone I can share my life with, my adventures and sorrows, my trials, triumphs, and tribulations.  Someone who will stick closer than a brother, and who I can grow old with.  And as I said before, I probably think about it way too much.  I become interested in someone, then see their flaws and lose interest.  I need to learn that my wife will have flaws just as I do, and stop looking for perfection, because that woman doesn't exist.  I'll share something neat with those of you who have read this far (thanks by the way, you must be really bored to be reading about Ben's lack of a love life).  Haha, anyway, a little known fact about me that reveals what a sucker I am and hopeless romantic I can be is the fact that every time I travel internationally I purchase a piece of jewelry for my future wife.  I see it as symbolic of the fact that I've traveled the globe looking and searching for her, and to me she is more precious and of great worth than all the riches of the world.  Call is cheesy, call it romantic, but there you have it: two strings of pearls from two trips to China, a blue bracelet from Bosnia, handmade necklaces from Kenya, silver earrings from England, and malachite earrings from Uganda.  It's just one example of the dreamer and poet locked inside of me beneath this gruff and dorky exterior.  I'm not sharing this to improve my odds or impress anybody necessarily, just thought I ought to share with you a little personal piece of my heart and a part I hope to one day share with the future Mrs. Friday, if she exists and wherever she may be.  Thanks for reading.  

The Serious Side of Christianity

Sometimes I worry that the majority of today's youth, which are passionate to reinvigorate the gospel for a new generation, forget that it really doesn't need to be updated.  I admit that Christianity has it's foibles, but seriously, if anything, it's not that it needs to be fixed, just better understood.  Any and all problems or misrepresentations that have arisen over the last 2000 years regarding Christianity have come about because people refuse to study and learn what God's word really means.  The gospel itself is perfect.  I can say that with confidence.  It has no errors, no flaws, and everything you need for life, wisdom, and godliness is found within the pages of the Holy Bible.  I don't say this out of ignorance either, or out of "blind" faith, because there is no such thing.  The saddest thing about the statements I just made is that a majority of so called "Christians" would be much more hesitant to take such a stand.  Am I claiming to be some sort of super believer?  Not at all.  I know who I am, and it is not pretty.  But I also can say what I say with confidence because I know it to be true.  I'm calling for more believers to simply trust and obey the word of God and take it for exactly what it says it is.  When it says God created the universe in six days, why is that so hard to believe?  Why must we force the Scriptures to conform to what science and "logic" try to reason to us?  Shouldn't it be the other way around?  The word of God (who created science) stand alone, and then all the sciences and arts conform to it's pattern and guidance?  When it says Jesus rose from the dead, folks, the whole book hinges on that.  If you can't believe that then you can't believe any of it.  Who in his right mind would take entire passages out of the Bible upon which is stands and then claim that the rest of it is simply "OK"?  You cannot separate the two.  Either you believe it, I mean really believe it, every word of it, or you don't believe any of it.  There is no in between.  The Lord does not negotiate on our terms people.  Get that through your heads.  I am alarmed at the trends I see in culture of updating the gospel and 'tweaking' it to fix today's culture.  The so-called "emerging church" movement, simply a try to mold Christianity into an existential worldview where all answers are true and likewise false, is something that must be fought.  And frankly, these die hard fundamentalists who say "The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it" aren't much help either.  They have passion yes, but they are ignorant and have not loved the Lord their God with all of their minds, conforming and renewing themselves to the will of a Holy God.  Frankly, both ends of the spectrum are to be blamed.  The fundamentalists give us a bad name because they cannot stand up to interrogation, their apologetics are just plain awful.  They cannot provide a ready defense and therefore give Christianity the "dumb, ignorant backwoods" stereotype.   Those who appear to be more "in touch" with the culture on the other hand, (and yes, I'm talking about the readers of Relevant magazine and followers of Donald Miller and Rob Bell), are more times than not convicted of actually compromising with the culture, of sleeping with it and then trying to pretend it never happened the morning after. God doesn't need our help peddling religion or sugar-coating truth.  He allows us to share in a glorious relationship with Him for which none of us are qualified, and then permits us to spread the news of that relationship to a world apart from it, in hopes that perhaps by the grace of God some of them will be moved and called by the Spirit to accept what we preach and point to: Christ crucified.  Forgive my rant, but I'm genuinely appalled by how quickly the prevailing "evangelical" culture has shifted on many issues.  Many of these compromises have occurred within the last 20 years, that's only a couple of generations down the road from where we used to be.  We need people to take a stand, to get serious about what it is that they believe and be ready to defend it.  We need not take the fight to the world, nay, it is already before us.  Christ promised his followers tribulations and trials, so why is it that whenever hard times come our way we ask for prayer to simply get out of these tough spots?  Why not ask for prayer to be wise enough to discern what the Lord would have us learn from the tough spot He put us in, for His own glory???  This idea may shock many and surprise some, but we've go to do a better job in the area of apologetics.  Truth is on trial, and we're standing by as the world chips away at it everyday we keep our mouths closed.  If you had the cure for cancer and nobody cared, how would you respond?  Take a stand men and women of faith.  Not in an antagonistic fashion, but in a zeal for the word of God and for His name and kingdom to be glorified.  We're too happy, shying away from somber, serious discussions of God's nature and doctrines.  We'd rather sing ourselves into an emotional state of euphoria than actually examine the word of God with a desire to learn it and live it.  We can still be full of joy and love, I'm just calling for a little serious-minded driven attitude to be added in.  Johnny Cash may be one of the best examples of this.  He understood the serious side of the gospel, and when you look at his life and his music, I see a prophet of somberness who was faithful to uphold the tough truths of the gospel.  Should we all wear black?  Perhaps not.  But it wouldn't hurt if a few of us tried it every now and then, I promise the world would take notice and then we might see some real revival taking place in the hearts of the people as our hearts and lives become serious about reaching them with the Truth.  Forgive me my rant, but as always, I blog because I care.  

It's Been Kinda Quiet Around Here Lately...

My apologies for the lack of blogging.  As of late I've been working at my new job and the last few weeks have been jam packed and busy to say the least. Once things calm down a bit and I reach the weekend I hope to blog some more.  We'll see... can't make any promises as of now.   Hope everyone is having a magnificent summer so far.