When I first started my blog, I promised I would write on everything from world events to film reviews, from theology and spiritual musings to my thoughts on the fairer sex: women. Alas, I have put it off long enough, I am honor bound to address the issue for the first time here. So here we go, exactly what you've all been waiting for... Ben Friday's thoughts on women, marriage, and his future wife. Obviously this a huge discussion, so I'll keep this little snapshot brief. I'll start by admitting I'm a hopeless romantic. I've never had a girlfriend, and tend to spend too much time thinking about them and wrestling with my ideas of them and what they should/shouldn't be in my head (gosh.... maybe that's WHY I've never had a girlfriend... sigh... lonely is the man who thinks too much). I won't get all mushy and open here on the internet (because if there's one thing celebrities and idiots have taught us, it is that these things will come back to haunt you once they have been splattered all over the world wide web), but I will share a few personal things about myself and my ideas for my future. For example, I'll openly admit to having never been in love. For me, being in love means more than just having a crush on someone, it means truly knowing that person and looking out for their interests above your own, to love with no strings attached. I also believe this kind of love is not humanly attainable by many people. The reason is simple: God is love. For those who don't know God, how can they truly love? Oh sure, they can do all the things the world calls "love", but they will never be able to, without the intervention and help of the Lord, love someone else unconditionally and in a self-sacrificing manner. I pray that one day I will be able to love my future wife the way husbands are commanded to in Ephesians: the way Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her and her well-being. I'll admit that I'm scared that I'll fall far short of this standard on many occasions, and smart enough to know I certainly will fall short to a certain extent due to my old sin nature which is constantly at war within me. But I strive to focus on drawing closer to the Lord, of being faithful with the friendships and little bits he has given and entrusted to me for the time being, and then faithfully trusting that He has the right future Mrs. Friday picked out for me, and she will bump into me in God's timing and perfect plan, not my own. Sometimes I feel that I already have met my future wife, someone I already know and will simply develop a deeper and deeper relationship with until the day I realize that she's the one for me. Other times, I am convinced that I have not met her yet, she's still out there and I'll just know when I see her that she's the one. Still other times I'm of a strong opinion that the life and lifestyle I've been called to are preparing me for a life of singleness, and that perhaps the Lord will, for whatever reason, refrain from granting me a wife in this earthly pilgrimage. One thing is for sure, I long to be held accountable that whatever the case may be, I'll be content to settle back and let the Lord's will be done, even if I disagree with it personally. I'm not looking for just an attractive girl with a great personality either, I'm looking for someone I can share my life with, my adventures and sorrows, my trials, triumphs, and tribulations. Someone who will stick closer than a brother, and who I can grow old with. And as I said before, I probably think about it way too much. I become interested in someone, then see their flaws and lose interest. I need to learn that my wife will have flaws just as I do, and stop looking for perfection, because that woman doesn't exist. I'll share something neat with those of you who have read this far (thanks by the way, you must be really bored to be reading about Ben's lack of a love life). Haha, anyway, a little known fact about me that reveals what a sucker I am and hopeless romantic I can be is the fact that every time I travel internationally I purchase a piece of jewelry for my future wife. I see it as symbolic of the fact that I've traveled the globe looking and searching for her, and to me she is more precious and of great worth than all the riches of the world. Call is cheesy, call it romantic, but there you have it: two strings of pearls from two trips to China, a blue bracelet from Bosnia, handmade necklaces from Kenya, silver earrings from England, and malachite earrings from Uganda. It's just one example of the dreamer and poet locked inside of me beneath this gruff and dorky exterior. I'm not sharing this to improve my odds or impress anybody necessarily, just thought I ought to share with you a little personal piece of my heart and a part I hope to one day share with the future Mrs. Friday, if she exists and wherever she may be. Thanks for reading.
3 comments:
Whoever she is-- she's a lucky girl.
My husband had things he'd gotten for me before we got married- things from his trips to Mexico and a few things that he (as a 5 and 6 year old) had asked his mom if he could keep for his wife (a pink hair ribbon and an old wooden cheese slicer). Those things are some of my favorite possessions in the whole world.
The someday Mrs. Friday is blessed to be intended for a man who is already preparing to be with her (and shower her with gifts).
I have nothing to add to what has already been said.
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