A Southern Boy's Adventures in LA: Ben vs. The Los Angeles Public Library

So anyone who knows me well knows that I have this crazy love for libraries.  I promise I'm not a nerd... well not a big one anyways, but what's wrong with loving libraries?  They're free resources to go get books, music, films, etc, practically any piece of information you could ever want.  Los Angeles county has like over 70 branches to their library system, and with one little library card, I get access to all of them (can't you just hear the glee in my voice?... of course you can't, you're not hearing my voice as I read this out loud.... but if you DID, oh man... there's an unhealthy amount of glee in my voice... and an unhealthy amount of ellipses in my typing... but I digress).  Long story short, I live real close to the Echo Park branch (because I live, after all, in Echo Park) and it's not uncommon for me to scamper over to the library (wow... did I just use the word "scamper"?... and MORE ellipses?... uncanny) and spend the better portion of the day sitting, waiting, wishing (and other activities shared by Jack Johnson for those of you who picked up on that pop culture reference there) and of course, reading.  I discovered that while the Echo Park branch is nice, I live like less than 3 miles from the Central Library, which is the big one downtown.  I decided to try it out, and I'm not lying when I say it's the largest and most impressive library I've ever been in.  I just wish I could have found it sooner and parked in the right parking lot. 

You see, downtown LA is a labyrinth of streets and avenues that are difficult to drive at night, and I had already gone on line and gotten directions to the library before heading down there.  According to the LAPL (Los Angeles Public Library) website, you can park in the garage on S. Flower St. and get validated parking, which means you only have to pay like $1 for 4 hours or something great like that.  So I follow my GPS (I still want to name her, I'm open to suggestions too.  She's got this sweet female voice that doesn't mind telling me when I've made wrong turns and am acting like a irrational male behind the steering wheel).  My GPS takes me all the way to S. Flower St. and I'm thinking, great, I'll just park in the deck here and then walk to the library.  So my roommate JP (who is my wingman on this adventure) and I park and go searching for the library.  I'm excited to see what they have on foreign films, and JP is looking for some Joseph Campbell books.  We exit the parking garage at 7:10pm and head for the library which closes at 8:00pm.  We quickly discover that we have no earthly clue where the library is and then a thought hits me which makes me laugh.  You remember in Spanish class when they taught you phrases and sentences you thought you'd never use in day to day life?  Well it just so happens that LA is 52% Spanish speaking (seriously, it's out of control.  West Palm was a joke compared to this) and so you have to realize that any stranger you approach my speak Spanish and not English (which last time I checked is still the official language in the good 'ole US of A).  I laughed because I remember learning the Spanish phrase for "Where is the Library?" which is "Donde esta la biblioteca?" and thinking to myself, good grief, when am I ever going to say that to anyone "en espanol"?  Well, thank you Mrs. Mullis for your teaching, because thanks to you I finally found the appropriate setting for this display of impressive linguistics.  I was able to ask a few kindly old men for help in locating to Library, both in English and in Spanish, and I finally found it, about 20 minutes later.  So now it's 7:30 and we only have a half hour to look around.  A bit of nerdy film trivia: On the way to the library, we actually passed the shooting location for the season 1 finale of "Heroes", I recognized that red circular stairwell thingy, one of those pieces of modern art they put in the middle of big cities.  Anyway, for those of you who watch the show, it's where Hiro, Peter, Sylar, practically everyone fight at the end of season 1.  For those of you who don't watch the show... I have nothing to say to you to defend my nerdiness.  

Anyway, the Central Library is like 6 stories tall, and have some crazy floors with cool displays, more books than you could... well, than you could fill a library with frankly, and an entire room of music and film that I of course took to like a moth to a bug zapper.  The library elevator is kinda cool too, I dunno why but I have to mention this: it's a glass elevator, but the walls are "wallpapered" with old index cards from the old card catalog (for those readers who are younger and never had the joy and privilege of searching for books in old card catalogs, you really missed out on some crazy fun times, let me assure you.)  Anyway, we spend the better part of an hour (the last half hour the library is open to be precise) enjoying the library and pretending to be scholarly and more smart than we really are.  We end up checking out som books and films, and it's off to the parking garage to leave.  But first I must validate my parking.  I hand the guy my ticket, he looks at it and says, "sorry, you parked in the wrong lot".  You've got to be kidding me.  A few more exchanges of dialogue with this man and I learn that I parked in the lot on S. Flower St., just the WRONG lot.  Dang.  Oh well.  Live and learn, right?  I guess I'll still pay like $1 because we've only been there for a little over half and hour, right?  WRONG.  I walk back to the garage on S. Flower St., the one they apparently don't tell you is the wrong one, and attempt to leave.  As I drive up to the little automated toll booth, I insert my parking ticket and the machine tells me I owe more than a dollar.  In fact I owe like $15.  (I must refrain from using bad language at this point, but suffice it to say I am greatly perturbed by the lack of clearly marked signs and/or the lack of absolutely free parking in and around the LA county area).  It turns out that the deck charges $3 for every 10 minutes (that's where this city must make the big money... that, and the overpriced movie theaters) and so since I entered around 7:10 and am leaving around 8:00, I owe $15 for 50 minutes of parking.  Insane.  If there had been a person there I would have told them that.  But alas, it was only a machine, and the gate wouldn't go up until I paid the $15 by swiping my debit card in the little slot, the one marked "Haha, you're not from the area are you? Sucker!"  Well I certainly hope the LAPL is happy.  Because I could have gone to Borders and BOUGHT the book I checked out for free with the money I spent on parking.  Shame on you S. Flower St. parking garage.  A curse upon you and your automated parking fees.  Ah well... live and learn, right?  This ain't Birmingham.