A Southern Boy's Adventures in LA: Ben vs. Ed Harris

So this story is about two weeks overdue.  Out here in Hollywood, they have a chain of movie theaters (2 locations actually, not sure if that really constitutes a chain, but anyways...) called Arclight theaters.  When you go see a movie at Arclight, you're going to see a movie in the best conditions possible.  For example, they have "black-box" presentations, which basically means that every single light source other than the screen in front of you is blacked out completely, which in turn totally sucks you into the movie.  The screen seems brighter because there are no exit signs, aisle lights, etc to give you any sense of being in a typical movie theater (some day I'm sure I'll blog about the dangerous side of this... like what if you suddenly really DO need to find an emergency exit???)  They also use Kinoton projectors (just trust me, it's as impressive as it sounds) and custom JBL sound systems with Academy Award winning technology engineered to exceed THX standards, especially for sound isolation.  Seats are wider, armrests are double wide, there is assigned seating, no in-theater advertising, no late seating (like 5 minutes after a film starts they don't allow anyone else in...), they have cozy cafes and bars in their main lobbies, gift shops with film memorabilia on sale, exhibits on display to correlate with current movies that displays costumes, artwork, photographs, and posters, etc, etc, etc.... it's like, there's going to the movies, and then there's GOING to the movies... Arclight is the latter.  Seriously probably the best theater going experience you're ever going to have.  They also constantly have special screenings of classic films (saw The Godfather there last week... and it was awesome) and also do a lot of special events where they host the director of a film for a unique Q&A after the movie is over.  This is one of those events I'm about to tell you about... 

As some of you know, I went to go see the new western film Appaloosa two weeks ago, which I liked very much, you can read my full review on my other blog where I actually review films by clicking here.  Anyway, so I'm excited to see the film, and my roommate and wingman J.P. is with me as well, and we're off to Sherman Oaks to see the directors screening at the Arclight there.  It's kinda a shame really, the Arclight in Hollywood is much closer to us (like 4 miles) while the other Arclight, the Sherman Oaks location, is like 16 miles away.  Well we left our place in Echo Park around 6:45 to see a 7:30 movie, thinking 45 minutes is plenty of time to drive to Sherman Oaks on a Thursday night.  Wrong.  We got to the parking garage at 7:30, and I'm freaking out because I know they don't let you in 5 minutes after the film starts screening.  It takes us like 10 minutes to find a parking spot, then another 5 just to walk the length of the mall (seriously, it's like the worst designed thing in the world: have to walk around the exterior of the main building, passing all these outdoor food court hangouts, then through a P.F. Changs and Cheesecake Factory, up three escalators, and then finally, you're at the front door of the Arclight).  We had bought tickets a week early, which was to our benefit, because the film was sold out when we got there.  It was also to our benefit, because then the ticket guy wasn't gonna let us in, the manager walked by, saw that we had bought tickets early, and after we groveled a little and made up a laundry list of excuses (we're new to the area, we're not familiar with L.A. traffic, here's a 20, etc) he graciously let us in.  We fumbled around in the dark to find out seats on the third row (which really wasn't as bad as it sounded) and tried to enjoy the movie.  I'm still not sure what the first ten minutes were about, we missed that part (whereas any other theater in America we would have walked in right when the advertising ended and the previews started for another 15 minutes before the actual film began).  

To make a long story a little shorter, there were two seats to my right separating me from the aisle, and while the seat immediately next to me was vacant the whole film, the aisle seat itself had an elderly gentleman sitting in it.  Well about 30 minutes before the movie ends, the gentleman gets up and leaves.  Then like 5 minutes later a theater employee comes over and tapes me on the shoulder, asking if the two seats next to me are open.  I say yes without considering that our elderly friend may return, and when I look back to my left J.P. reminds me of that, saying "hey, wasn't there a guy sitting right ---" and he stops mid-sentence.  His eyes get real big.  I look back to my right again to see what caused my friend to fall silent and am greeted with an eye-full of Ed Harris himself.  Wearing blue jeans, a sport jacket over a T-Shirt, glasses, and a baseball cap pulled down low over his face, Mr. Harris slides into the aisle seat.  I'm sitting less than 3 feet from the director and star of Appaloosa, which I'm also nervously trying to watch on the big screen in front of me.  I glance up at the screen, see Harris in character as Virgil Cole deliver a tough line about upholding the law in the old west, then glance back to my right and see the man himself sitting next to me.  It's kinda a surreal experience.  I didn't know if I was supposed to laugh out loud at some parts (the film does have quite a bit of humor) and suddenly became very conscious of the fact that Ed Harris may very well be monitoring my level of enjoyment towards his film, curious to see how an audience reacts to certain parts.  About 15 minutes later, right before the end of the film, another gentleman sits down in the open seat that separates me and Ed.  I later learned that this man was Robert Knott, who produced and co-wrote the film with Ed Harris.  Anyway, right before the end credits rolled, the final shot is of one of the characters riding off into the sunset (classic western motif, gotta love it...) and as the closing lines of voice over narration are given, suddenly Mr. Harris raises his hands to about shoulder level, palms upward, sort-of in one of those poses that communicates "what the heck just happened?" and "I'm waiting...." all at the same time.  Mr. Knott also raises his hands in a quizzical gesture, and they both freeze and hold this pose for about 2 minutes.... JP and I are still trying to figure out what just happened... haha.  It was like they were either a) waiting for the audience to applaud or something, b) confused by the ending and unsatisfied with the presentation, or c) randomly just decided to strike a pose.  It turned out that the gesture was produced on the spot because the film we saw wasn't the final version.  Ed was raising his hands because he was waiting for more voice over narration, they actually had one or two more paragraphs of narration they had recorded late in the post-production period to tack onto the ending, and the screener we saw didn't have this last tidbit of dialogue included.  Pity.  But it was funny sitting next to him and watching his body language and seeming puzzlement over the ending to his own movie.  

Well the director's Q&A rolls around, they turn on the lights in the theater and bring out some of those classic fold out wooden directors seats for Ed and Robert to sit in.  Then out comes this dorky little guy from Arclight to ask some questions.  And boy was he terrible.  One of the first things he asked was what Ed thought of a recent review that ran for the film in the New York times that morning which called it a "sex comedy" because of the love triangle created by the three main characters and the humorous dialogue exchanged between them.  Ed looked completely taken aback at this description, much like everyone else in the theater (I can assure you this film is anything but a "sex comedy" dear reader!) and slowly raises the microphone to growl into it "you see, that's why I don't read reviews... because of what you just told me.  Now I'm gonna have that idiot's description stuck in my f---ing head- I mean.... sex comedy?  SEX COMEDY?  What the hell man!???"  The audience approves his anger at this claim with laughter and the nervous interviewer moves on... "um, don't you think that you and Viggo had some unique comedic chemistry in this film, kinda like Laurel and Hardy?"... blank death stares from Harris... nervous interviewer: "Or maybe what about the sexual tension felt between the two characters here... I mean, these guys are acting like a married couple at times"  Harris rolls his head and eyes in an exaggerated gesture to show how stupid this question is, then growls into the mic once more: "hey look man, we're not on the mountain, and there are no sheep around." which (surprisingly, considering how "tolerant" this town is of homosexual lifestyles) the crowd gives his answer both a roar of approval and a round of applause.  (That's right... Brokeback Mountain may have had it's audience, but it's not the same audience as Appaloosa, and to even infer any homosexual undertones in this film is to step over the line from what the director intended folks).  Anyway, the interview goes on just fine, we learn some interesting tidbits about the filming process and how the film was adapted from a book, etc, and then suddenly Ed does what I hate seeing celebrities do: takes a platform he's been given to talk about subject "A" and uses it instead to talk about subject "B".  You can probably guess what I'm referring to: Harris brings up his political views.  

Now I'll listen to the man talk about movies.  He's directed two of them, and acted in many more.  I think he's a great actor, very powerful on screen (and in real life too - he's just as forward, blunt, and straight-edged as the roles he plays in films like Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind, The Truman Show, The Abyss, and Gone Baby Gone).  But when he opens his mouth and says "hey, I don't wanna get all political or anything, but come this November, let's all make sure we get out and vote... OK?"  I was kinda bothered, but happy that was apparently all he was gonna say.  Ok, you've got your plug in for voting, lets get back to talking about the movie we just saw.  Right?  wrong.  A few minutes later he comes out full force when he goes way off topic to talk about a little thing called proposition 4.  Here's the short version of his ridiculous rant: "Hey, real quick, I don't wanna get all political, but lemme tell you about this thing called Proposition 4 coming up on the ballot... my wife works as a volunteer with this Feminists of America thing, and I just got back from one of their meetings, so listen up... they're trying to pass a law that says you have to have parental consent to get an abortion if your a minor... think about this folks.  They're saying that if you're a 16 year old girl and you get pregnant, and your mom is dead, your dad is a mean alcoholic son-of-a-b---h who you know will beat the crap out of you if he finds out you're pregnant... they're saying in that situation you can't go to a close friend, a school worker, social worker, a priest or nun or something and say 'hey, I got this problem, will you help me out and drive me to the clinic to get this thing taken care of'... they're trying to do that to us folks.  Take away that poor girl's right to choose safely and on her own.  So just think about that when you go vote... and also think about how we can get rid of this G-d d--ned current administration and help bring in the new world order"  Well so much for not getting political Mr. Harris.  I lost a lot of respect for the man.  Seriously, first off, the scenario he cooks up is so ridiculous it would take an actor to imagine it. In his scenario he thinks the girl could get a priest or nun to help her?  Hello, have you talked to any Catholics about abortion lately?  They're the most staunchly pro-life people on planet earth.  Apparently Ed missed that memo.  And of course this all boils down to an issue that could have been easily solved if the 16 year old girl kept her pants on to begin with.  They don't want to restrict the sexual promiscuity of the culture at all, oh no, they would rather just abort the baby and keep living it up.  I think Prop 4 is a good rule, think about it: you have to have parental consent to go to the school nurse and get an Advil these days at most schools.  You're telling me this girl has to have family approval to get over-the-counter medication for a simple headache, but she doesn't have to check with the folks first before she terminates a life growing inside of her?  Wow... now I don't wanna get all political, but Ed Harris is a toolbag when it comes to politics.  As I said, I'll listen to any actor talk about acting, just like I'd listen to a mechanic talk about cars: it's what they know.  But the attitude amongst celebrities that they're more politically savvy than the masses has to go.  The vast majority get their information from the same magazines, websites, and cable news shows I do, they don't have any experience in the realm of politics that I don't, so why do they carry themselves like God's chosen prophets of politics when it comes to these issues?  It's not that I don't agree with their politics that bothers me (although that does have a little something to do with it, I'm sure) but its the simple fact that I paid to come see a western and hear how it was made, not to hear Ed Harris rant his political leanings for the whole theater to hear that have nothing to do with the movie.  I HATE it when celebrities talk about things they're not qualified or even expected to talk about during interviews or special appearances.  I know he has freedom of speech, but it's not what I paid for and I'm not appreciative of celebrities who use their platforms in such a way.  

Anyway, the evening winded down and I waited in a line to go up and shake his hand.  Regardless of his political rant, he's still a good director and actor and I wanted to tell him how much I appreciated his handling of the western genre.  Most folks in line just wanted him to autograph some old copy of The Abyss, which you could tell he was kinda sick of doing.  When I got to the front of the line I simply shook his hand and said, "Mr Harris, I'm a huge fan of a good western, and you didn't disappoint me with Appaloosa.  Thanks for the great movie sir"  Hearing this, he kinda perked up in personality and we even had a little "moment" where we kinda had a genuine exchange, he smiled and said, "Oh really, you're a fan of the genre?  what films do you like that are westerns?" and I enthusiastically responded "Oh you know, I loved The Searchers and Unforgiven and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance among others".  He grinned at and repeated my last selection, "Oh yeah, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is great isn't it?"  I smiled and asked him politely at that point if he wouldn't mind autographing my ticket stub for Appaloosa, he kinda chuckled and said "I guess I could..." in sort-of a joking manner, and there you have it: I have a ticket stub that now reads "To Benjamin, Happy Trails! Ed Harris."  Hahaha.  What a night it was.   I didn't appreciate the man's political speech, but the rest of the event was rather memorable.  Sat next to the the guy whose film I was watching.  How many times can you say that while you're watching a movie?  ;-)